Thursday, June 30, 2011

Hamsterman at the bird park


After getting home from a gruelling day at the hamster factory and washing the ovary cells off my legs, I thought it was time to reflect on the potential for comic-book-style disasters in my line of work. Perhaps I should be on the lookout for any dense hair growth on my legs, sharpening of my teeth, or anything else to suggest I might be turning into 'Hamsterman'. I know doing night shifts has already left me with a food storage and hibernation instinct. And my beard has been particularly bushy lately.
A trip to the bird park showed that I've already become inexplicably attractive to other animals. Although I think hamsters probably aren't the normal prey of Lorikeets (although that green one climbing up my back looks tempted to try).

Luckily I'm finished night shifts now so can return to the land of the living. Although 2 months prowling around in the witching hours have obviously left their mark. The indisputable video evidence below demonstrates that I now have the wizard powers to match my wizard beard (although my ability to rotate videos is lacking). Perhaps I could start work on my own film franchise since Harry Potter is now over and they have surely exhausted all possible comic-book adaptations. Look out for Kung Fu Hamster, summer 2012 blockbuster.


video

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Midnight cheese feast

Several people have generously asked me if there's anything I can't get in Singapore that they could try to send to me. Strangely the answer is no. It slightly detracts from the image of South East Asia as a mysterious tropical paradise, but they have Marks and Spencers selling hobnobs and mint humbugs.

One thing that is difficult to get though (read 'expensive') is good cheese. I guess with the country being so small, I wouldn't be surprised if the domestic cow is extinct in Singapore so, like most of the rest of their food (and water) Singaporeans import all their dairy from at least as far as Australia. Luckily Lyn had conveniently planned a trip to France a few weeks ago. And luckily I didn't go with her. Whenever I travel through an airport my bags always get scanned or searched. I must give off the vibe of a heroin/people/chewing gum smuggler. But Lyn's bag made it through with almost a kilo of extremely ripe and perspiring blue cheese.

I've been doing my best to get through it all. It's a big job though. And Lyn's Mum keeps me well fed; so days go by where I don't even think about going near the fridge. Through mid-night insomniac snacks I'm starting to make some progress. I even managed to find some oatcakes to help but I've got a long way to go; and the cheese is only getting stronger.





Random bonus photos:

My hand almost healed a few days after a 'disagreement' with Mac, Lyn's Shihtzu. My faith in the Napolean complex reaffirmed.







Bryan Robson scaring the crap out of me from an advert on the bus.